By Paul Ford - republished from Outright 56 (Winter 2024)
As we all know, cricket is close to perfect in every way. But part of its magnetism is its complexity, its 42 laws and labyrinthine interpretations, and the frequent advent of every game unfurling some uncanny and quirky incident that has never been seen before. It is a glorious blend of trivialities and rules and inconsistencies: a convoluted and arcane ritual that we love.
There is a greyness in the nooks and crannies of the game that attract aficionados and endless debates about what could be done to make the game better. It will evolve and it is our duty to sit on our couches, get parallel on grass embankments, pontificate via our keyboards and debate how this could be done.
Here are my suggestions for the egg and bacon brigade at the MCC, the lords and custodians of the seriously capitalised Laws of Cricket. Some are dead-set serious and some are predictably delusional and whimsical:
1/ Cricket needs to get into baseball mode and do its darndest to ensure as much of a game is played as possible when there is inclement weather to navigate. Baseball is sensational at shuffling its schedule – and that might be moving a start time earlier or later to dodge a storm, or even altering the day of the game. Our game can try harder here.
2/ The batting team cannot be rewarded with the benefit of a wide if the batter does not have a crack at hitting the ball – I am changing this rule to ensure the batter at least attempts to play a shot. Batters can continue to believe in the leave, but they won’t be getting nay runs for doing nothing on my watch. And I know there will be some utterly preposterous ‘shots’ attempted as batters navigate this new rule.
3/ If a batter is incorrectly given out LBW by a bamboozled umpire, the ball remains live and all the runs that flow from that crappy decision count. So if a batter snicks a ball, is wrongly given out LBW, DRS is invoked and the ball thunders into the boundary toblerone as fielders celebrate recklessly, it will be four runs and not a dead ball to be rebowled. Yes there will inevitable be some mass confusion and pandemonium but I am here for it – and the batter should not be punished for a bad decision.
4/ If a fielder stops the ball from touching the boundary rope or beyond then it is play on and not a four or a six. In the olden days (aka the 1980s for me) a white picket fence with a savage concrete drain in front of it was the boundary. I want to give the fielder’s carte blanche to go full kamikaze on their outfielding, so if you keep that ball behind the rope any which way you can, you win.
5/ In a limited overs series the toss is only held for the first game and then for the rest of the series the batting/bowling innings are alternated to ensure a variety of matches. And in Test matches, the toss becomes an ‘away team choice’ with the blazered visiting captain choosing their poison on the morning of day one, in an imperfect attempt to adjust for home advantage.
6/ Former Indian opener Aakash Chopra has pondered why the ‘free hit’ continues to exist: ‘The basic premise of cricket is that an error has consequences, but as a batter if you make a mistake on a free hit, you will escape punishment.’ The sanction of providing the batting team with penalty runs, amnesty from various forms of dismissal, and the ball needing to be rebowled is savage enough methinks.
7/ I know it goes against the increased specialisation and ‘anti-allrounderism’ being foisted upon us by the IPL’s rules around impact players and post-toss team naming, but in my IPFL* every player has to bowl at least one over in white-ball cricket. Just as we love watching an ill-equipped number 11 striving for a lower-order miracle in a run chase, we would now be seeing wicketkeepers and top order batsmen eking out liquorice all sorts from the bowling mark. It seems only fair that batters must bowl, just as bowlers must bat. Viva la all-rounder!
8/ Broken bone or destroyed hamstring during a game? You can be replaced if you are deemed unfit to play on by an independent medical professional. At the moment it is essentially only allowed if you have monstered your head or neck – or gone down with Covid19 (the ‘Ben Lister’ regulation). And to avoid self-serving tactical injury shenanigans, the opposition choose your replacement from your bench in a throwback to the schoolyard selection process.
9/ Let’s get rid of the administrative punishment that comes with the third umpire in a booth at the back of a stand getting in the standing umpire’s ear and checking for a no ball after the fall of a wicket. It is one of the great deflationary acts in the game, and it must go. If the batter thinks they are the victim of a no ball then they can absolutely use one of their DRS reviews to make sure, but let’s not all have to suffer the anticlimax every damn time.
10/ All fielding restrictions abandoned, except the Bodyline-inspired changes that allow a maximum of two fielders behind square on the leg side. That said, the scales are tilted so far in favour of batters in 2024, and willow-wielders are much more inventive 90 years after the behavior that inspired the law change: so are we sure we still need even that restriction?
* the International Paul Ford League
Paul Ford is one-third of The BYC Podcast, and a co-founder of the Beige Brigade.
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